Category: Ascension Address

Thursday, June 25, 2020

There was a time when a little HTML and CSS knowledge could make a lucrative career. But these days we front-end developers are feeling the squeeze from two sides.

On one side, the JavaScript community (may it suffer eternally) is doing its level best to turn the simple languages of the Web into a monstrous Rube Goldberg machine of JS libraries on top of JS libraries, in an effort to make websites as complex and abstruse as native applications. They claim to do this to enable building powerful web apps with only front-end skills, but they actually do it for their perverse idea of fun.

On the other side are the page builders. They go by many names — Squarespace, Wix, Divi, Avada — but their common goal is to enable the masses to build websites with zero web development knowledge. They are of various success in meeting this goal, and they each commit a various number of abominations in their pursuit of it.

The time may be coming when you Designers are the sole people building marketing sites, and the Reactheads and Webpack weenies have cornered the market on functional web apps, leaving front-end specialists like me unemployed and destitute.

Fortunately, I, the Lead Developer on this project, find your cause infinitely more admirable than theirs.

So I have chosen what I consider to be the most worthy of the page builders, Elementor, as the tool with which you Designers will supplant me. I will teach you about it as best I can, and the best among you will be promoted to Creative Director, at which point I will leave you to maintain your glorious new creation.


Replace all instances in the ruleset of “Player” (except the first instance in Rule 4.4.4) with “Designer”, and all instances of “Emperor” with “Lead Developer”.